Sunday, 22 April 2007

The Time of My Life

As funerals go – it was a good one. I know that ‘A’ would have been chuffed to bits to see how many people came to see her off and pay homage to the wonderful person who, all too briefly, was part of our lives. They came from far and wide – Canada being the furthest.

‘J’ gave the eulogy and moved everyone to tears one minute and then had us all nodding in agreement at his observations and laughing the next. We all returned to ‘A’ and ‘B’s home and sat in the garden she loved, the sun shining down as we shared memories. Wine and beer flowed, food was laid out on trestle tables and we toasted the life of someone special to us all. Their two daughters, ‘V’ and ‘C’, were amazing. They carried their grief with dignity and supported their father, who is a completely broken man. ‘A’s parents, ‘G’ and ‘O’, are in their 70’s and have taken this especially hard.

‘G’ has withered before my eyes over the last few weeks and when we were looking at all the wonderful flowers afterwards, he plucked up a single rose, wrapped in cellophane, and gave it to me. “This is mine and I want you to have it”, he said. I tried to gently refuse him, not knowing how to handle this frail man’s grief. But he insisted and so I accepted with a kiss and told him I would dry it and treasure it.

This family now needs time to heal – the scars of their grief will remain but they will fade with time. Never more so have the words: “Time is a great healer”, meant more to me.

We left yesterday morning after ‘B’ had come back from walking the dog, which had always been ‘A’s “job”. Poor Monty. He doesn’t understand what has happened, but is morose and insecure. For ‘B’, this is a time to walk and think; replay memories and meet up with people in the park who can share this time of day with him, like no others. And as he wrapped me in his big bear hug, I squeezed him tight and hoped that he felt in my hug what no words can say.

I left you all with my final words on the CL site: “make time to smell the flowers”. ‘A’ lived life to the full and her home was always full of flowers. As we laid her to rest on Friday, a peacock (yes, you did read that right!) walked through the Garden of Rest at the crematorium and stood proudly; emerald green and sapphire blue feathers shimmering in the sunlight. ‘B’ and the girls mentioned it later and said that ‘A’ would have said it was a sign. Birds were another of ‘A’s passions and for her leave-taking to be graced by such a magnificent one was surely the biggest tribute she could have had.

9 comments:

@themill said...

Welcome back Woozle and that was so moving. Your friend would be so proud and touched by what you wrote.

Posie Rosie said...

Woozle, lovely to catch up, even if it is under sad circumstances for you and your family, you wrote about it all so beautifully. Take care.

MamaHen said...

Sorry to hear about your friend - it was a lovely, moving blog.
Like your photo of your dogs too! Thanks for the kind comment you left on my blog. x

Blossomcottage said...

Hello so glad you are with us, I have not had a lot of time today to catch up with everyone but I will have a bit more time tomorrow.
Blossom

Pondside said...

So sorry to hear about your friend. We should all take your advice, though, and pay attention to this beautiful life that we're given.

Suffolkmum said...

That was a beautiful and moving tribute Woozle. Your friend woul dhave been proud - and amused by the lovely peacock, I'm sure.

KittyB said...

I somehow completely missed your blog over on The Dark Side, but have caught up now and will keep up. The peacock sounds like a sign - you wrote it beautifully.

annakarenin said...

What a lovely tribute you have written to a family so dear to you. I think it is very hard for parents to lose their children at anytime in life hopefully their granddaughters will help in that repect but for them to lose a mother so young and there father in the middle having to deal with it all. How terribly sad.

Withy Brook said...

Your story nearly made me cry, but the beauty and love in your words stopped my Bless you and the grieving family. Luv Rho