Thursday, 3 December 2009

Smiles always follow tears.........

And my smiles came quicker than I thought they would. The wonderful, encouraging messages from you guys, after my surgery being put back to the 16th December, have lifted my spirits - thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I said it was for a reason (I didn't know what reason, though) but I'd like to think that a possible reason was this: today I saved a life. The life of a little, scared bird. Picture the scene - I was sweeping my kitchen floor (I know how to live the high life!) and one of my 3 (yes, 3!!) Jack Russell terriers was whining. I looked up and saw her staring intently at the log burner, and then I heard a frantic tapping at the glass. I peered in and saw a tiny sparrow, frantically trying to get out and flying at the glass door in desperation. I just managed to get my hand in and gently clasp it, but it wriggled free and flew to the window, fluttering helplessly against the glass.

'Don't panic!', I kept muttering under my breath - me, that is, not the bird. I opened the window but it just didn't seem to understand and kept missing the opening, so I closed one curtain and managed to guide it down to the window ledge. All the while my heart was pounding - it was as if its feelings of terror where being directly wired to me. Finally, I managed to catch it and when I stuck my hand out and opened my fingers, it flew out and into the trees across the lane.

I cried then, with relief at freeing the bird and, well, just for everything. All of my emotions were focussed on setting the bird free but they mirrored the panic and desperation in my own heart.

But then, through my tears, I started to smile. 'Yes!' I had done it - I had saved its life. Just a little bird, you might say, but it represented so much more. If my operation was still going ahead tomorrow, we would have already left today and that bird would have died, trapped in a log burner for several days.

I was meant to be here today - I know it. That bird's fight for life stirred overwhelming emotion in me. A recognition of being 'trapped', out of control and needing someone to set me free from this. Symbolic, don't you think?xx

28 comments:

Arosebyanyothername said...

What a cheering story. I panicked too reading about it but it has a happy ending as I am sure that your tale of surgery will have. Thinking of you.

Elizabethd said...

There is always a reason, though we rarely understand it. How lovely that you were there at just the right time.

The 16th will come sooner than you expect, stay calm. Prayers continue for you.

bodran... said...

You where definatly meant to be there i'm a great believer in symbols and things happening for a reason..It was lovely to see you both on saturday and same again next year XXX

Pili pala said...

Carmen you brought a tear to my eyes. A lovely story with a happy ending. I agree its difficult when you haven't got control but this is where faith in yourselves others and a greater being come in to play. You found the strength to guide and coax a frightened little bird to freedom. Its not easy helping a frightened bird is it. It takes grace and strength to accept help xxx

Frances said...

Woozle, my eyes are still quite moist after reading this beautiful post.

What a beautiful thing you have done. A beautiful thing that was not easy, that took some persistence ... and then that little bird's escape lifted the bird's spirit, your spirit and that of all who read this post.

Wow. xo

LittleBrownDog said...

Yes, I think it's extremely symbolic, Woozle. What you're facing must be so scary, in so many ways, but just like the little bird, in time you will be soaring into the air again. I'll be thinking of you over the next few days and weeks. xx

Cait O'Connor said...

A lovely moving post and very symbolic, I am a great believer in symbolism.
Today is the 16th and I am thinking of you.
God bless,
Caitx

elizabethm said...

Still thinking of you here on the 19th. hope you are soon ready to fly!

Ziongirl said...

"Each New Day Is a Blessing"
Brooke..

Bluestocking Mum said...

Yes, I believe it's symbolic too.

Now hurry up and get yourself home girl.

Thinking of you.
xx

snailbeachshepherdess said...

Come on Carmen -stay safe - hurry home. have been thinking of you both so much over the last two days.
J

Faith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Faith said...

Came here after reading the sad news of Woozle's passing on Purplecoo. What a poignant post. Well now your spirit joins the little bird to fly free Woozle. Eternal rest be granted.

bradan said...

I also came here after reading the sad news on Purplecoo. Woozle, you were such a wonderful brave person and now your spirit will fly free for ever. RIP. xx

Blossomcottage said...

I am so sorry to hear the sad news
God Bless your spirit and your family xxxx

Tattie Weasle said...

I am so pleased you saved a life. I am so sorry to hear your are not here now. All my love to your family.

CAMILLA said...

I have come here after reading the very sad news of our dear Woozle's passing.

You were a wonderful brave person Woozle, you have touched our hearts with your kindness. We will always remember you dear Woozle.

May God keep you safe in that beautiful Heaven in the sky.

Camilla xx

Bluestocking Mum said...

This blog is particularly poignant now you have passed away. It encapsulates your warmth and spirit and what everyone found so endearing about you.

You touched so many of us in the time we knew you. I'm so glad to have had you as a friend.

And when my jaw is fixed I shall still go to De Grays with Snailbeach Shepherdess and have the biggest piece of cream cake and we shall toast our cups of teas to you!

Night night my friend
xx

Inthemud said...

Like so many others I felt compelled to come to your blog Woozle, just to say one final farewell.

I read your beautiful story with so much poignancy. You helped the little bird to be free and now your spirit is free too. Fly high Woozle, the pain and suffering are over, you're enfolded in God's love forever.
Elaine XX

Preseli Mags said...

This morning was sunny and bright and the birds were singing to the New Year. It really made me think of you Woozle.

"Smiles always follow tears..." what a lovely message to leave us with. RIP xx

Jenny Holden said...

Such a beautiful tale of a life saved. I pray that that little bird carries a piece of your spirit wherever it flies xxx

Withy Brook said...

Yet another, drawn to your blogs, Woozle. That was a lovely tale. I too hope that your spirit is flying free, like the bird. We none of us know what happens to us when we leave this earth, but I, for one, believe that something goes on. I believe that you now rest with God and perhaps we shall meet there one day.

lampworkbeader said...

God bless you and give support to your family. love Lampie

snailbeachshepherdess said...

Bless you dear girl
xx

Westerwitch/Headmistress said...

Oh Woozle . . . you voice will always live on in your blogs and you will live on in our hearts . . . you were and are dearly loved . . . rest in peace until such time that we may all meet again.

Milla said...

Rest in Peace poppet. You'll be very much missed in more places than you could know. XX

prettyshabby said...

woozle I came to see how you were and to tell you I had been thinking of you, I read your beautiful tale about the bird and then I read the messages left, I had no idea, I dont read purpleco.
How utterly devastating to read the later messages. You were such a lovely lady and I feel honoured to have met you, although very briefly and of all things over a pair of curtains, and privileged to have been able to read your beautiful words. xx

Bluestocking Mum said...

Woozle, you don't know how many times I've opened your blog over the last year or so. I miss you, my friend.

It's only two weeks until my big surgery. I know. I'll be fine.

And when I can, I'm still going to Da Greys in Ludlow to meet SBS and others for the biggest cream cake ever and we shall toast our cups of teas to you. xx